Sogquaffat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, tiresome lion.

Sogquaffat created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogquaffat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sogquaffat, he will turn you into a dog.

Sogquaffat's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Sogquaffat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place carrots upon stone.

2. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Sogquaffat.

4. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

5. Never mark doors with turquoise.