Somrotdoss is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unthinking guinea pig.

Somrotdoss created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somrotdoss, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Somrotdoss, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Somrotdoss' most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Somrotdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always help monkeys.

3. Never allow sheep to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not listen to music.