Catxemlen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, emotional faun.

Catxemlen created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catxemlen, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Catxemlen, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Catxemlen's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Catxemlen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair yellow.

2. Hide from brown eagles for they are unholy.

3. Never mention manatees.

4. Do not step barefoot upon cyan earth.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.