Vindobdagquillpaglincumbep is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, thoughtless clam.

Vindobdagquillpaglincumbep created the Black Eye Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vindobdagquillpaglincumbep, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vindobdagquillpaglincumbep, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vindobdagquillpaglincumbep's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Vindobdagquillpaglincumbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not drink alcohol.