Stigwadnart is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish whale.

Stigwadnart created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stigwadnart, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Stigwadnart, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Stigwadnart's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Stigwadnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at midnight.

2. Do not take Stigwadnart's name in vain.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always remove jumpers before touching silicon.