Rensidfem is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, dishonourable alligator.

Rensidfem created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Rensidfem, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rensidfem, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Rensidfem's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Rensidfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Never sit in the presence of elders.

3. Always help gulls.

4. Do not fashion tools from gold.

5. Never think ill of sick squirrels.