Batmutrut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, duplicitous aardvark.

Batmutrut created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Batmutrut, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Batmutrut, she will curse you with boils.

Batmutrut's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Batmutrut's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

2. Do not travel during autumn.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

4. Retreat if five monkeys approach from the south.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.