Stanpakcib is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, emotional dolphin.

Stanpakcib created the solar system four million years ago.

If you believe in Stanpakcib, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Stanpakcib, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Stanpakcib's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Stanpakcib's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat ants with great respect.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never allow swans to witness sacred rites.

5. Do not keep seven rats in a large pit.