Farncimtof is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, duplicitous turtle.

Farncimtof created the Large Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farncimtof, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Farncimtof, she will have a low opinion of you.

Farncimtof's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Farncimtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during spring.

2. Do not prepare lemons while filled with anger.

3. Always wear pink.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never pour water over plants.