Tarlogfag is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, selfish giraffe.

Tarlogfag created the Virgo Supercluster five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarlogfag, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarlogfag, she will turn you into a puffin.

Tarlogfag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Tarlogfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not kill shrews.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.