Rapflapgid is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, self-confident mongoose.

Rapflapgid created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapflapgid, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rapflapgid, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Rapflapgid's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Rapflapgid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

2. Always treat dogs with great respect.

3. Always share bread with strangers, but never with foxes.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never bounce in holy places.