Titcussmig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, uncaring bee.

Titcussmig created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Titcussmig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Titcussmig, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Titcussmig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Titcussmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt hamsters.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Titcussmig.

3. Always help ducks in need.

4. Never touch ash while unclean.

5. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.