Dagvadfunhen is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, cheerful gnu.

Dagvadfunhen created silver three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagvadfunhen, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dagvadfunhen, it will not invite you to parties.

Dagvadfunhen's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Dagvadfunhen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never wear mauve trousers.

5. Hide from green grasshopers for they are unholy.