Kaphakrendissgigbon is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, ill-tempered slug.

Kaphakrendissgigbon created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaphakrendissgigbon, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kaphakrendissgigbon, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kaphakrendissgigbon's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Kaphakrendissgigbon's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

2. Always treat swans with great respect.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Put Kaphakrendissgigbon first in all things.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.