Fenbassnilhab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, narcissistic ferret.

Fenbassnilhab created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fenbassnilhab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fenbassnilhab, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fenbassnilhab's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Fenbassnilhab's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not speak of dark matter near sacred fires.

4. Never remain standing at midday.

5. Do not sing at mountains.