Linpiglintag is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, benevolent narwhal.

Linpiglintag created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Linpiglintag, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Linpiglintag, he will try to impress you with trees.

Linpiglintag's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Linpiglintag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple boots.

2. Do not eat figs.

3. You must love Linpiglintag.

4. Run away if three bats approach from the north.

5. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.