Batrigjig Fudyakbam Dubwipcap is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, emotional armadillo.

Batrigjig Fudyakbam Dubwipcap created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Batrigjig Fudyakbam Dubwipcap, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Batrigjig Fudyakbam Dubwipcap, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Batrigjig Fudyakbam Dubwipcap's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Batrigjig Fudyakbam Dubwipcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your neck with magenta.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Do not resist chaos.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Never curse while facing south.