Bossyattunmin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic penguin.

Bossyattunmin created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossyattunmin, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bossyattunmin, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bossyattunmin's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Bossyattunmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never travel toward the south during winter.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must love Bossyattunmin.