Stigqueegjen Cudcutkab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, slow guinea pig.

Stigqueegjen Cudcutkab created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigqueegjen Cudcutkab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Stigqueegjen Cudcutkab, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Stigqueegjen Cudcutkab's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Stigqueegjen Cudcutkab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight doves approach from the north.

2. Never allow great tits to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Respect your elders.