Bopbidjipfig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, tranquil lizard.

Bopbidjipfig created Mount Everest three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopbidjipfig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bopbidjipfig, it will turn you into a plant.

Bopbidjipfig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bopbidjipfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove stockings before entering holy places.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Do not drink alcohol.