Mitripsat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, proud salamander.

Mitripsat created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitripsat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mitripsat, he will turn you into a hamster.

Mitripsat's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Mitripsat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Put Mitripsat first in all things.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Mitripsat on top of all buildings.

5. Always remove stockings before touching zinc.