Gub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, irritating centaur.

Gub created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gub, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gub, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gub's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gub's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to voles while wearing jumpers.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never feed lots of cucumbers to tortoises while wearing yellow corsets.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Never think about dark matter near manatees while wearing turquoise skirts and balancing five zinc spheres on your legs.