Govlunfossandgarveenjipwod Xucratgadwig Vidvagrowbass is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, deceitful bird.

Govlunfossandgarveenjipwod Xucratgadwig Vidvagrowbass created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govlunfossandgarveenjipwod Xucratgadwig Vidvagrowbass, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Govlunfossandgarveenjipwod Xucratgadwig Vidvagrowbass, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Govlunfossandgarveenjipwod Xucratgadwig Vidvagrowbass' most sacred site is Camon in France.

Govlunfossandgarveenjipwod Xucratgadwig Vidvagrowbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

3. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

4. Always wash your legs before prayer.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near squirrels while wearing gray kilts and balancing six titanium spheres on your head.