Larpmismab is a god.

It takes the form of a large, passionate octopus.

Larpmismab created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpmismab, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Larpmismab, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Larpmismab's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Larpmismab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near pigs while wearing purple kilts and balancing three copper spheres on your neck.