Jarncamnurl Tundibnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, astonishing tapir.

Jarncamnurl Tundibnurl created the Sol system five million years ago.

If you believe in Jarncamnurl Tundibnurl, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jarncamnurl Tundibnurl, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jarncamnurl Tundibnurl's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Jarncamnurl Tundibnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain ear rings during rituals.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Never talk about spacetime near sharks while wearing fawn corsets.