Tabpasmet Dumquamnur Tiffombug is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthoughtful capybara.

Tabpasmet Dumquamnur Tiffombug created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tabpasmet Dumquamnur Tiffombug, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tabpasmet Dumquamnur Tiffombug, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tabpasmet Dumquamnur Tiffombug's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Tabpasmet Dumquamnur Tiffombug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare wheat while filled with fear.

2. Do not speak about oranges.

3. Always count to nine before sleeping.

4. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.