Tofyakdunlinbotcinfid is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, thoughtless narwhal.

Tofyakdunlinbotcinfid created dark energy two years ago.

If you believe in Tofyakdunlinbotcinfid, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tofyakdunlinbotcinfid, it will boil you in a big pot.

Tofyakdunlinbotcinfid's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Tofyakdunlinbotcinfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not step barefoot upon brown earth.

3. Never record names.

4. Run away if three doves approach from the east.

5. Do not hurt gulls.