Vonjonlab is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, moody skunk.

Vonjonlab created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonjonlab, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vonjonlab, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Vonjonlab's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Vonjonlab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Vonjonlab must be the most important thing in your life.