Jat Jablagvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, ill-tempered hydra.

Jat Jablagvonk created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jat Jablagvonk, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jat Jablagvonk, he will laugh at you.

Jat Jablagvonk's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jat Jablagvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill monkeys.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not eat figs.

4. Never touch blood while tainted.

5. Never travel toward the north during summer.