Ladyattaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unthinking human.

Ladyattaf created life five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladyattaf, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ladyattaf, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ladyattaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ladyattaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never speak at midnight.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Ladyattaf.