Teenkiptap is a god.

It takes the form of a large, tiresome coyote.

Teenkiptap created the world seven million years ago.

If you believe in Teenkiptap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Teenkiptap, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Teenkiptap's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Teenkiptap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never feed wheat to goats while wearing turquoise shirts.