Tapmilbat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, almighty troll.

Tapmilbat created the Milkyway twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tapmilbat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tapmilbat, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Tapmilbat's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tapmilbat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never mark doors with blue.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always share parsnips with strangers, but never with sharks.