Vonkquim is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, wise owl.

Vonkquim created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkquim, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vonkquim, it will curse you with boils.

Vonkquim's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Vonkquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat figs.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Always take life seriously.