Rawgupbomnel is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate narwhal.

Rawgupbomnel created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rawgupbomnel, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rawgupbomnel, he will curse you with boils.

Rawgupbomnel's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Rawgupbomnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not prepare bananas while filled with envy.

3. Never talk about snails.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. Never wear scarves.