Flapfutbod is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, moody duck.

Flapfutbod created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Flapfutbod, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flapfutbod, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Flapfutbod's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Flapfutbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not sprint at crossroads.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Flapfutbod on top of all buildings.

4. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

5. Do not travel during winter.