Bonkbedbod is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, selfish owl.

Bonkbedbod created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbedbod, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bonkbedbod, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bonkbedbod's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bonkbedbod's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about gulls.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

5. Pray towards the north.