Fedcutveg is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, cheerful skunk.

Fedcutveg created life seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fedcutveg, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fedcutveg, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fedcutveg's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Fedcutveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dolphins.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Fedcutveg on top of all buildings.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Do not eat oranges.

5. Always wash your face before prayer.