Fonnadnel is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, self-assured dolphin.

Fonnadnel created the Sun seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonnadnel, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fonnadnel, he will ignore you.

Fonnadnel's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Fonnadnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Never hurt gulls.

3. Do not eat carrots.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Never travel toward the south during spring.