Henbossbombess is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, fast cat.

Henbossbombess created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Henbossbombess, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Henbossbombess, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Henbossbombess' most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Henbossbombess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Put Henbossbombess first in all things.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Henbossbombess loves swans, so they must be respected.

5. Never think about dark matter near monkeys while wearing brown jumpers and balancing six platinum spheres on your back.