Femwonmeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, uncaring otter.

Femwonmeg created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Femwonmeg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Femwonmeg, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Femwonmeg's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Femwonmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Retreat if nine porpoises approach from the west.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. You must never eat turnips.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.