Zanquagham is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing donkey.

Zanquagham created the solar system six million years ago.

If you believe in Zanquagham, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zanquagham, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Zanquagham's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Zanquagham's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

4. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never pour water over plants.