Begkoncibgubmob is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, loving whale.

Begkoncibgubmob created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begkoncibgubmob, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Begkoncibgubmob, he will throw large rocks at you.

Begkoncibgubmob's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Begkoncibgubmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of nebulae into wood.

2. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

3. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

4. Do not name children after snakes.

5. Never feed lots of cherries to birds while wearing red trousers.