Lunfad is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest dove.

Lunfad created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lunfad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lunfad, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lunfad's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Lunfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Never laugh near dogs.

3. Never gather five tortoises in one place.

4. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

5. Always cleanse ash with water.