Nurlcumjon Safafwad Pinpopster is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, bad-tempered unicorn.

Nurlcumjon Safafwad Pinpopster created the universe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlcumjon Safafwad Pinpopster, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nurlcumjon Safafwad Pinpopster, it will turn you into a goat.

Nurlcumjon Safafwad Pinpopster's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Nurlcumjon Safafwad Pinpopster's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never fashion tools from wood.

4. Remain prostrate during prayer.

5. Do not trade with those who eat onions.