Sidpanquagfen is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, awesome ant.

Sidpanquagfen created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sidpanquagfen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sidpanquagfen, she will turn you into a frog.

Sidpanquagfen's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Sidpanquagfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at dawn.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Sidpanquagfen on top of all buildings.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.