Nabcadtik is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, prudent beaver.

Nabcadtik created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nabcadtik, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nabcadtik, he will turn you into a worm.

Nabcadtik's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Nabcadtik's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

2. Never wear hats.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.