Pakdunarm is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humane squirrel.

Pakdunarm created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakdunarm, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pakdunarm, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pakdunarm's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Pakdunarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

5. Never wear shirts.