Listontparkdib is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, humane porpoise.

Listontparkdib created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Listontparkdib, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Listontparkdib, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Listontparkdib's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Listontparkdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Never feed limes to geese while wearing green ear rings.

3. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

4. Never eat carrots.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.