Cissbogjanquartken is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, self-assured armadillo.

Cissbogjanquartken created the Cigar Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cissbogjanquartken, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cissbogjanquartken, it will turn you into a mole.

Cissbogjanquartken's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Cissbogjanquartken's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always help sick rats.

3. Do not keep seven tortoises in a large pit.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.