Bessnatpid is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unthoughtful lion.

Bessnatpid created the Sunflower Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessnatpid, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bessnatpid, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bessnatpid's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bessnatpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

2. Erect three lead sculptures of Bessnatpid on top of important buildings.

3. Never fashion tools from wood.

4. Never handle carbon while unclean.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near frogs while wearing black corsets and balancing seven nickel spheres on your chest.